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- DragonForce is awesome jogging music if you want to outrun a bus and then die from a heart explosion. 1 hour ago
- Updated LinkedIn job title to "CEO of Your Mom" just so my coworkers get a message asking them to congratulate me on my promotion. 7 hours ago
- Black shoes. Brown shirt. I might as well be tagging gang signs at the office. #LivingOnTheEdge 11 hours ago
- That people buy anything sold by talking CGI babies is fantastically depressing. 14 hours ago
- @fakesantos I wouldn't make fun of Randy "Macho Man" Savage to his face either, but that doesn't make what he does less retarded. 24 hours ago
- @theresa_lauren There was a thing today? 2010/02/07
- @johndunne Yeah, I get that a lot. 2010/02/07
- @charliehartel So OhioHookup.com worked? 2010/02/07
- @fakesantos Because I can't watch millionaire pussies in better armor than soliders in Iraq cry when someone touches their facemask? Right. 2010/02/07
- @ninjadamour Is this what happens when they try to deliver mail on Sunday? 2010/02/07
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Derek’s Blog
Blog, lather, repeat. Always repeat.
Tftyhgdal
The other day I caught Max typing furiously on my iPhone. I said, “Max, you know you aren’t supposed to touch daddy’s phone.” He looked up, gave me a determined stare, and said, “Hold on! I’m writing you a message!” He wasn’t kidding. This is the text message that was in the buffer:
Date: Sat, Aug 22, 2009
From: Max
To: Derek
Subject: TftyhgdalLlqqgSqag
-:3&55;; v hb. Cbvhjhjhjmnmnjjkiikijjijvdxxxxxcjj
That’s only marginally worse than I spell using Apple’s on-screen keyboard.