The week in tweets #62

  • RT @sween: “This porridge is too hot!” “This bed is too soft!” “This sex is too fast!” Goldilocks. Worst. Date. Ever. Tue, Jul 28 @ 09:51 AM
  • Scrotum Water. #failedsoftdrinks Thu, Jul 30 @ 07:17 PM
  • Trying Mountain Dew sweetened with sugar instead of HFCS. Honestly, it tastes like Scrotum Water. Thu, Jul 30 @ 07:19 PM
  • I’m taking the word moron back from the smart man. Thu, Jul 30 @ 07:36 PM
  • Mobile, Alabama ends sex segregation in public schools. In 2009. What the fuck is wrong with people? It’s AL, but still. Fri, Jul 31 @ 01:41 AM
  • NPR top story: “at least 39 service members killed in Afghanistan.” CNN top story: “‘banana-eating jungle monkey’ racial slur.” Really, CNN? Fri, Jul 31 @ 02:01 AM
  • RT @NickCody: This is what the anti-vax movement is like. Fri, Jul 31 @ 12:04 PM
  • It’s super adorable when Max says serious, adult-sounding things that mean nothing. Today: “Daddy, thank you for seeing me on Thursday.” Fri, Jul 31 @ 05:48 PM
  • Videogum on Gwen Paltrow: “The guillotine was invented in 1286 and we are standing around like ‘if only there was something we could do?’” Fri, Jul 31 @ 06:54 PM
  • As a consummate nerd I would totally go on this tour. (Thanks, @charva!) Sat, Aug 01 @ 01:23 PM
  • Overheard: “I don’t eat meat. Except hot dogs. And Burger King.” Sat, Aug 01 @ 01:24 PM
  • Like the alcoholic who works in a liquor store, living in TriBeCa is constant battle against my bell tower tourist sniper calling. Sat, Aug 01 @ 01:45 PM
  • I’m bribing a toddler into eating cheesy tortellini with brussel sprouts. You heard right. Sat, Aug 01 @ 08:46 PM
  • Max took “got your nose” to a whole new level by taking mine, eating it, coughing it up, and finally returning it. Sat, Aug 01 @ 08:55 PM
  • Kevin Spacey explains Twitter to David Letterman. Sun, Aug 02 @ 10:15 PM

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